Just to be clear, this was an April Fools story… —Ed.

Wondering why you see so many articles about Harley-Davidson, when by number of bikes sold, they only make up a small portion of the global market? According to a recent study coming out of the University of Sealand, it’s because… well, you’ll just have to read on to find out.

According to Dr. Terry Blipmore, it’s because for most motorcycle writers, the perfect motorcycle brand doesn’t exi—

Wait. That’s got no bearing on the matter. They’re just looking for quick turnaround on easy headlines that get people riled up, instead of thoughtfully commenting.

“Here’s what most motorcycle experts don’t want you to know about Harley-Davidson,” said Dr. Blipmore. “This weird trick is how they decide what to write about. They see the outrage about motorcycles that Bruce Willis loves, and know that everyone’s talking about them.

“Did you know that Harley-Davidson motorcycles get people worked up? If you’re looking to write a story that gets people worked, up, this is the last subject you’ll ever need!”

Blipmore says his research does not mean that Harley-Davidson itself is a clickbait company, just that motorcycle writers are piggybacking off the controversy that surrounds the company, instead of finding new things to talk about.

“POV: You’re up on deadline, and the boss-man is breathing down your neck, saying he needs more pictures of Spider-Man, so to speak,” says the researcher. “So here’s a top three list of the things you should do before banging out a piece to get them off your back. First, find a rumor about Harley-Davidson. Second, throw out some weight-to-power comparison. Third, throw in a pie chart from one of their recent financial statements. Then you’ve got the Motorcycle Story Of The Year!”

You won’t believe what Blipmore said next! According to the researcher, Honda, KTM, Ducati and BMW headlines are also guaranteed clickbait, although not at the same level as Harley-Davidson.

“Again, to be clear, I’m not insinuating these are clickbait companies,” said Blipmore. “Their products are good enough. But if you emphasize those names in a headline, perhaps with a snarky comment or breathless praise for their aesthetic or engineering… the SHOCKING TRUTH is that people will argue in the comments rather than even reading the article in the first place. So you could say just about anything, especially in the final paragraphs, and it wouldn’t matter. Editors HATE THAT ONE WEIRD TRICK.”